Saibam que o problema com a tradução de piadas em inglês é que, muito provavelmente, a tradução não vai deixar com que o punch line, ou o fechamento, não tenha o mesmo impacto para causar graça. Portanto, já vou avisando: não vou traduzir pra não correr o risco de ser a pessoa mais sem-graça do planeta. O máximo que vou fazer é colocar um vocabulário embaixo de cada texto e torcer para que vocês achem graça. caso vocês rirem, por favor, façam um selfie e mandem pra mim que eu publico 
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A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.”
The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one.”
(nota 7,5…)
Vocabulary
farmer – fazendeiro
would you mind – você se importaria?
field – campo
to catch – pegar
bull – touro
………
Mother, “How was school today, Patrick?”
Patrick, “It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!”
Mother, “Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?”
Patrick, “What school?”
(nota 8…)
Vocabulary
mum – mamãe
fancy stuff – coisas sofisticadas
………..
I was in a restaurant once and I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my reliefs to the beat of the music. After just a few songs I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me… That was when I remembered that I was listening to my iPod.
(terrible…)
Vocabulary
suddenly – de repente
to pass gas – soltar um pum
reliefs – alívios / aliviadas
staring – fitando, olhando
…………………
– What do politicians and diapers have in common?
– Both should be changed regularly, and both for the same reason.
(lol)
Vocabulary
diapers – fraldas
both – ambos
changed – trocado
………………..
(sim, eles também têm piadas do Joãozinho)
Little Johnny asks his father:
“Where does the wind come from?”
“I don’t know”
“Why do dogs bark?”
“I don’t know”
“Why is the earth round?”
“I don’t know”
“Does it disturb you that I ask so much?”
“No son. Please ask. Otherwise you will never learn anything.”
Vocabulary
wind – vento
bark – latir
earth – (planeta) Terra
disturb – incomodar
otherwise – senão
Vou parar por aqui porque eu sei que você podem estar morrendo de rir… ou com vontade de me matar…
See you next time!